so, i did it. today i took archie into chelsea to drop him off to  lady who will take him and love him. not as much as i of course, but enough. i've had to give cat due to him hating my roommates. this has been quite the conundrum. absolutely tears me up inside. long story though. bottom line, it had to be done. nothing was going to make him like my roommates, thus, nothing was going to make him stop peein on their stuff. 

on the other hand, things are for the most part, going well. dancing is picking up hard core. i've got six more weeks to learn four more dances, on top of the three i've already learned, and three more costumes to make, on top of the one i've bought already. this is not a cheap hobby, just throwing that out there. lol. 

...i wish i had more to type. i feel that if i typed more, i'd think less. but i'm still in the thinking process. and there is little expression until the thinking is done. I hope the majority of your time is spent being happy. i know with this up and down weather, it's hard to have 100% all around great times. 

sincerely,
attempts to keep in touch.

so i've had a cat for about a year. thing is, it's been a long year. the one thing that was there, my cat, Archie. long story short, i moved into a new house with three of my best friends, and Archie keeps on messing with their stuff, and I have to let him go. I've been looking for options that will help him to get adopted. But there is nothing that really comes to mind. aside from the humane society, or some sort of animal shelter, the other options aren't too appealing. this might be one of the hardest things i've ever had to do. this feels just like when my friend Ricky died. he and i were best friends, went to the same babysitter and everything. he got sick and was diagnosed with Leukemia. being told Archie wasn't going to be to stay kind of felt the same as it did when I was told Ricky wasn't going to make it. that sucks.

sometimes life happens. but sometimes life happens so much that you have no idea where it went. i have memories and i have recollections of good times, but now, all of a sudden, i'm 21, i'm graduating in april, i've got a house (that i'm renting), i've got random jobs coming from all angles and the whole time, i'm still stuck on the 21 part.

things haven't been bad, but they've been interesting. actually, really intresting, to the point where more often than not, they have been great. it's no use "updating" because of my bad habit of falling off the face of the earth.

but i think i'm getting back into the habbit. :0) 



me on my birthday....yup, 21....still weird.

Ok, yesterday was by far, one of the worst days of my life. I will explain everything, but a breif over view for your time limits: crazy people, bad math class, shattered windshield, cancled lunch w/ someone coolio, deep thought in therapy, frustrating dance class, speeding ticket. the only decent thing about yesterday was dinner w/ janel, and coffee w/ Mike. That was about it.

Crazy people: well, just that. fucking crazy. I don't even know what to say about that. well, i do, but i'm not going too. if you want to know about this one, well, you're going to have to ask, and be prepared for me to say no, i won't tell you.
bad math class: also self explanitory. It is just bad. i don't do math. let along statistics. i just don't. my brain isn't wired that way. that's why i'm in fucking social work. i love it, NO ACEDEMICS. non. what so ever. all i need to do is care, and i do. so i'm a perfect fit.
shattered windshild: on my way home from bad math class, a large vehicle kicked up a large rock, saw it come flying at my car. hit my windshield and went through both panes of class. wich caused me a pain in the ass! but whatever. i have to get it fixed today, which will be expencieve. a lot actually. but it's bad. not even driveable. i had to take amanda's car yesterday to my dance class
cancled lunch: Mr. Harvey, my counslor from middle/high school, i was supposed to have lunch w/ him, but he called my house b/c he never puts my direct line in his phone, called to say he had to cancle. ass bag!
deep thoughs in therapy: this has been quite the summer personal growth. and it sucks. this summer, i'm doing nothing but looking at myself, and picking put all the things i need to work on. lets just say i need more than just this summer, but this is all i got. i've my self on a deadline, and i don't think i'm going to make it.
frustrating dance class: normally i don't get everything on the first try. and that's fine. but my day has sucked so much at this point, i freaked out a bit at dance, which just added to my anger and sheer hate for that particular tuesday!
And lastly, speeding ticket: i was on 94, rockin' out to my country music, in amanda's car b/c mine was undriveable. so i'm rockn' out, driving, and all of sudden i see red lights and blue state car. FUCKING STATE COPS AT THE END OF THE MONTH. all he was doing was meeting his quota. THAT'S ALL!!!!! but whatever. this just gets added to the things i have to pay for. which is a lot. i think between this, and someother things, everything comes to 500 dollars. that means that i am not spending anything for the rest of the summer. it's all going into my bank account to i can build up my savings again. this is not only the first time in three years that i have been under 2000 dollars, the first time in over three years that i have been under 1000 dollars. and i am kind of freakin' out a bit. quite a bit.

Ok, so this is just about the first peice of collected down time that i've been able to muster up in a while. I've had free time, esp. in the last few days, but oddly not enough conviction to sit down and type on my computer. I don't know, something about sitting down for an extended period of time didn't seem like such a good idea. didn't think i could do it. but now i think i can't. though, i'll be honest, i just a nother cup of coffee, and i'm afraid that there will quite a bit of spelling errors and perhaps even miss words. my brain and inner diolouge are moving at a must faster pace than my hands are at this point. but i can't only imagine how much worse it would be if i was hand writing all of this. hell, if that was the case, i wouldn't even do it. haha.

not too much new on the homefront. though i'm learning a whole lot lately. though not in my math class, and i guess that could be seen as a slight problem. but i'm learning a lot about myself theses days, making one step after antoher, and seeing things about me that i didn't know i did. most of it was a way to protect myself, but in the end, it's not helping. it's not really hurting either, it's just keeping me kind of stationary, and i'm not going anywhere. but i'm slowly moving forward, catching myself doing things that i need to learn how to stop, and it actually feels kind of nice.

this summer, i've been quite strait forward. i'm starting to live up, full force, to my idea of no bull shit, no fuckin around, no games, just blunt, honest, truth. i'm not saying that everything is all of a sudden easy and turned into yes or no, and there isn't any grey in between, but i'm learning to see through the grey, and learning to accept the answers in between yes and no. taking them for what they're worth, and just keeping forward w/ what i want, and letting people tag along for the ride, and also not being so upset when they fall off b/c things turned left when they so obvisouly wanted to go right.

i guess this is also the summer of metaphores and analogies. oh well, you get the idea, right? GOOD.

I still don't like my job. that hasn't changed at all, in fact, not even a little bit. i don't hate it, i just don't like it. and id on't like not liking my job. but last friday, i have an interview at Maggiano's Italian restaraunt at about 930 am, then they had me come back in THAT DAY at around 330, and i'll find out tomorrow if i get the job or not. if i do, then I'm going to tell Ann Taylor Loft that for personal reasons I can no longer work for them, I apologize that i am leaving on such short notice, and i hope that this doesn't hinder the relationship between myself and the corporate offices of ATL.

on a much happier note, and something a lot more fun, last monday was AMAZING. the rain and the company was wonderful. it was one of the most awkward/entertaining/intresting/i don't even have a real word for it night that i have had recently. playing in the rain, me and about 8 or 9 other grown ass ppl, like a bunch of kids. dancing and jumping and screaming. running around, jumping on everyone. and speaking about everyone, there was just a whole lot of hands going a whole lot places they weren't supposed to. if i had a nickle for every time a gay guy grabbed my boob that night, well, i'd have a whole lot of nickels. just hands, and touching, and rain, and music, and people giving us dirty looks, being totally out of movie or some real fun commercial or something. we were kind of amazing, not gonna lie.

on quite the sad note, Liam leaves today. he leaves at 3, well, that's when his plane is supposed to get off the ground. like that EVER happens as it shoult. but he was in town for a good month of so, and i was so happy to see him. I love that kid, hoenstly, a whole hell of a lot. he and i talked, and we came to the conclusion that the kind of friendship we have, it's something amazing. he's the kid that when we're older, and lets say i'm sick, and i'm alone, and i can no longer take care of myself, he told me that he'd take care of me. the way he said it, it was so random, and so out of the blue, that i believe him. that got me thinking too, and i know for a fact that i'd do the same for him. i knew the kid for a week before i went back to school, and we talked almost every day on the phone after that for three weeks before he moved back to australia, where we proceeded to talk at leats once a week for the next year and half. when he came back this time to visit, it was back to the talking and seeing eachother just about every day, and so that makes his going home that much harder. but he'll be back, soon. i know it. so that makes me happy....er.

that seems to be about it. i thought that my belly dancing class was going to be dancing at the AA art fair on saturday, but i think that the more advanced classes are going to be dancing. they only gave her about 40 minutes to work with, so we'll see. i'll keep you all posed if i'm dancing and all the good stuff.

there you have it, my life in a nut shell. PEACE OUT.

Hey. Things have been quite crazy lately. And oddly enough, I do have some down time, but when I have it, I'm so blah, I just sit there and make it look like i'm watching tv, but not really. just kind of zoning. but a lot has been going on. first off, my job. ann taylor loft, it isn't the job that i don't like, and it is some of the girls that i don't like, but mostly, it's the fact that it's still so damn intimidating. I mean, i've been there almost three weeks now, and i know what i'm doing for the most part, but sometimes, i go in and i can't help but feel out of place and so freakin' unwelcome. and i don't like that, and i don't really have anyone to talk to about it. two out of the three managers i have are a part of this problem. so we'll see, maybe i'll get better. and if not, well then i only have two months left before i can put in my two weeks and go away again forever back to ypsi. i have to work today, and saddly, i'm kind of dredding it. i was supposed to work maybe on sunday, but i was on call. and one of the managers that doesnt' like me picked up the phone, and i think that's why she told me to not come in, becuse i really believe that she doesn't like me. i have no idea how busy they were on sunday, but it was sunday, sunday's aren't a slow day at the mall. sunday is most womens shopping day, and we're a womens clothing store...duh.

oh well, i'm hoping to get over this. secondly, i got my ears pierced again. i was in the mood. sara and i were at lunch where she works at olive garden, and then we went to great lakes crossing, and we walked passed the clairs, and we went in because i wanted two more holes in my ears. they don't hurt, but the constant tug on them from my hair is a bit lame. i like it though, i think it looks better... but now i'm thinking about going all the way up my right ear. becuase now i've got the two on the bottom, the one on top, and space fore two more in between. who knows, maybe next year. i want to be able to give blood sometime soon. (meaning 6 months. lol)

not a whole lot else is going on. i had a little show for my belly dancing in AA. nothing major, just something small and something that was for the teachers and other students. and we had a few groups come in and dance for us too. there i met a lady named Janice Reily. and she is a solo performer and also teaches private lessons for 30 an hour. she said she wanted to work with me so badly because she think i have great potential and a natural skill for it that she is willing to take the price down for me to 15 an hour. HALF OFF. so if my budgets next years allows me to do so, then yes, yes i will. i will take reagular belly dancing, and solo dancing to do drum work and other such ethnic things. EXCITMENT.

that's about, work, school, belly dancing, and the occasional not-liking of my job. more to come, maybe, if anything else happens. later.

Ok, so i'm trying to sleep. it's late, and i'm up real real early. like 5am early. i have to drive all the way out to dexter in the morning, so that way i can hitch a ride out to wixom to watch my cousin do her irish step dancing, and then back to dexter, then out to novi, and after that, well, couldn't tell you what was happening.

i've been working a lot lately. and i'm still trying to decide if i like it or not. i mean, sure, it's retail, so it's not like i'm going to LOVE my job. but i'd prefer to at least like it. ya know? as of now i've decided that the more i learn, and the more i can do thing on my own without having to ask for help, the more i can tolerate it. but there is this one girl, Kyana, she's nice and all, but when she gets with one of our managers, Tamara, the two of them annoy the hell out of me. i don't know what it is about them, but for some reason, the word pretentious comes to mind. they kind of make me want to hit them, or stab them in the eye a few times. they just give off this vibe of being so condecending towards me. and if anything, it kind of makes me laugh. of course they are better at retail than i am, i've never worked retail before. it's like if they were to come and work w/ me at my restaurant. of course i'm going to be a better waitress than they are, i've been doing it for 6 years. but in time i think i'll get better. i learned the reggister pretty fast, but it's not like i know how to do all transactions. but i'm getting there. returns and exchanges are a breeze, and issuing out Ann Taylor cards are getting easier, but some other things...man, too many hoops to jump through to get to where i need to be. LAME. Also, the store changes every time i go in. they switch it up every day, i swear. i went in today, and just as i was learning where everythin goes, i had to relearn it all today because it all got shifted around. and non of it has any rhyme or reason, it's just of placed in areas that i guess someone thought looked good. but they'll have different colors of the SAME item scattered all around the store. NO, bad ideal. as a consumer, i can honestly tell you that if i wanted a to try on a skirt, and i was told that they had black, but all i could see was white, red, and brown, i'm going to assume that those were the only three colors they had. why would it occure to me that they had black, light blue and navy on the other side of the store? and same with the tank tops. makes no sense to me. but i don't go in untill 11 or so for the most part, so i have no say in what goes where. which i feel is a problem. i think they should let me do that. lol. my schedual thus far isn't soooo bad. but they do have me working a lot. i worked Mon., Wed., Fri., i work sunday, and then i work again wednesday-sunday next week. whic is good i guess because that means i'll be getting some fat checks. so i like that. but today was pay day, becaue every friday is pay day, and i was thinking that they'd put at least monday and wednesday on my check....oh no. my check was for not this pas thrusday, but thrusday LAST week. and i was there for two hours and fifteen minutes...so i got a check for under 20 bucks. i looked at the amount, and the firs thing that came to mind was that i thought it cost more to make the check than what the check was actually worth. blew my mind.

ok, so i've rambled on for some time now. i think yet another tempt to fall asleep is in order here. ok, peace out!

yeah, still happy:

What Makes You.. by SheBangs12
Your name?
Your gender?	MaleFemaleOther
What makes you sexy?	Your hips
What makes you pretty?	Your smile
What makes you loveable?	How fun you are
What makes you fun?	Everything about you!
What makes you irresistable?	Your voice
What makes you cute?	Your personality
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Ok, so i went the doctor today, because well, it just needed to happen. And heres the deal. It was an allergy attack dealie that turned into a bacterial infection, and then that moved over to my ear, so now i have a bacterial infection in my nose and an ear infection. man, this suck. but now i'm on zithromax, flonase, psudephed, and allegra. hope it works. but we'll see. i just want to be better by monday, i don't want to be snotting all over my customers. haha.